Thursday, April 22, 2010

I Can't Believe they are 1!

I am tired and need to go to bed but just need to write a bit about my last year. How my life has changed in 1 short year!

Today is my girls' birthday. Can it be? Are they really already 1? I remember right after they were born feeling so sad that I just knew it would go too fast. And it certainly has. I knew this day would come faster than it has with any of my other kids, just because life is moving so fast for us now with all our business. My heart is just full today as I think of the blessing these precious little ones have been in my life. I just love them so much and can't imagine NOT having these two.

This has been a year of personal growth for me for sure. Taking care of one baby is hard. Taking care of two is really hard. No one came to stay with me after they were born (although Jordan was home for several weeks which helped a ton). Other than that is has been all me except for short little breaks here and there. My kids all came home for the summer when the babies were 6 weeks old so just like that I had six kids at home. It was a hard summer! I have never been so tired, so emotionally stretched, so focused on being the best mom I can be to all these little people in my home. I have often had people say to me, "You are done, right?" or Better you than me!" or "Wow, you really have your hands full!" To them all I say, yes, I do have my hands full of 6 wonderful children and yup, better me than you! I love that I have 6 kids! Those who know me well know I have always wanted a big family. I wanted 12 growing up! That has surely changed! But I love that I will have lots of grandchildren and that my life will be full of family. To be truthful I do feel overwhelmed a lot, I am really tired most of the time, my house never looks the way I want to, daily showers have gone by the wayside, there are behaivors in every one of my children I would like to see go, I have put on some pounds in the last year as a "coping" mechanism, and there are many, MANY projects that are just going to have to wait. I don't really have hobbies. There are many things I would like to do, I just don't have the time or energy to put into them at the moment. But if you were to ask me if it's worth it, I would say absolutely and would I do it again? YES! So very worth it.

So a little more info about the babies. They are so funny to watch. They are like little puppies, following each other around, getting into trouble together, fighting over coveted things like the remote or the phone. They move together. One can be on the other side of the house and they find each other. It's so, so adorable. Even though they can't talk they communicate. In the morning when they wake up they are so happy to see each other. They often just sit and grin at each other and last week Emmie put her head in Lizzie's lap for a long time (we have them separated at the moment in an attempt to help them sleep better). They are both pulling themselves up on everything but aren't walking yet. Fine by me! Life will instantly get much busier once they walk.

One of the things I have treasured most about this year has been nursing my twins. It is a special experience. Most of the time I nurse them both at the same time. They just sit and stare either at me or at each other. They hold hands or try to poke each other in the eye. It really is just precious and I feel so grateful it has worked out to nurse them so long. That was one of my biggest concerns about having twins. Nursing is really important to me and I so wanted it to work out!

I realize I have written a novel. I should stop now! As Jordan is out of town until tomorrow we are waiting until Saturday to have their party. So I will post pictures after that.

I made it! I made it through the first year of life with twins. I will forever be grateful that the Lord saw fit to send these two to my home. They are wonderful. Happy birthday my sweet baby girls!